Eridan and Karkat discuss things
by windlesszephyr
Summary: I like to imagine Karkat is softer around Eridan because of Eridan's in my opinion natural pitiability, so to speak. That is why my Karkat here is so terribly out of character. Sorry about that. I guess this could qualify as Eridan3Karkat or EridanKarkat.


******((ooc: I like to imagine Karkat is softer around Eridan because of Eridan's (in my opinion) natural ****pliability. That is why my Karkat here is so terribly out of character. Sorry about that.))**

**1.**  
**CA: hey**  
**CG: WHAT.**  
**CA: do you knoww wwhere sol is**  
**CG: NO. WHY DO YOU ASK?**  
**CA: im gonna kill that fuckin scum**  
**CG: WHAT. WHY. WHAT DID HE DO?**  
**CA: he took fef from me**  
**CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUT YOU SHOULDN'T MURDER YOUR FELLOW PLAYERS.**  
**CA: wwhy not that fuckin bastard deservves to die**  
**CG: WE'RE ALL NEEDED TO WIN THIS GAME.**  
**CA: i dont fuckin care if you dont tell me wwhere he is im goin to slaughter you wwhen i next see you**  
**CG: FINE, FINE. LAST I CHECKED, HE WAS STILL ON HIS PLANET. THE LAND OF BRAINS AND FLAME OR SOMETHING. MAYBE IT WAS BRAINS AND FIRE.**  
**CA: thanks noww ill spare you from the business end a my rifle**  
**CG: I'M FUCKING OVERJOYED.**  
**CA: you should be**  
**CG: HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I'M YOUR FUCKING LEADER. I CAN COMMAND YOU NOT TO KILL SOLLUX.**  
**CA: id like to see you fuckin try to stop me**  
**CG: ERIDAN, YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM KILLING SOLLUX, DO YOU HEAR ME? BESIDES, I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING HURT EITHER. LIKE I SAID, WE'RE ALL NEEDED HERE.**  
**CA: wwhat do you mean me gettin hurt if i can kill this many angels i think i can at least maim a muckblooded land dwwellers**  
**CG: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO KILL THEM YOU KNOW.**  
**CA: they wwere asking for it**  
**CG: WHATEVER.**  
**CA: im gonna go annihilate sol noww ivve wwasted too much time talkin to you**  
**CG: ERIDAN WAIT.**  
**CA: bye leader**  
**CG: ERIDAN!**  
**CG: ERIDAN!**  
**CG: FUCK.**  
**CG: JUST DON'T KILL HIM.**  
**CG: PLEASE.**

**2.**  
**ERIDAN: hey**  
**KARKAT: WHAT.**  
**ERIDAN: is sol around**  
**KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW. I LAST SAW THE LITTLE DOUCHEMUFFIN SITTING AT HIS COMPUTER DOING WHO KNOWS WHAT. PROBABLY CODING OR SOMETHING EQUALLY SHITTY.**  
**ERIDAN: wwhen you see him again tell him i wwant to speak wwith him**  
**KARKAT: SURE.**  
**ERIDAN: thanks**  
**KARKAT: DARE I ASK WHY YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM?**  
**ERIDAN: its none a your business**  
**KARKAT: OH COME ON ERIDAN. YOU LOOK MORE DISTRAUGHT THAN USUAL AND YOU'RE CARESSING THAT MAGIC TWIG KANAYA MADE FOR YOU LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY SOMETHING.**  
**ERIDAN: its a wwhite science wwand kar not a magic twwig**  
**KARKAT: WHATEVER. YOU HAVE MURDER IN YOU EYES. WHAT'S WRONG?**  
**ERIDAN: i wwant to blast him into fuckin oblivvion thats wwhats wwrong**  
**KARKAT: BECAUSE CLEARLY THAT WENT SO WELL LAST TIME.**  
**ERIDAN: shut up that little muckblood deservves far wworse than wwhat i havve in store for him**  
**KARKAT: ERIDAN SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS YOU PROBLEM WITH SOLLUX? I KNOW HE CAN BE A BIT OF A PRICK SOMETIMES, BUT HE'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD OF A PERSON.**  
**ERIDAN: he took fef from me that an hes a fuckin snotblooded landdwweller**  
**KARKAT: OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, HE DIDN'T TAKE FEFERI FROM YOU. SHE LEFT YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE BEING IMPOSSIBLE AND STONY ,AND SECOND, IF YOU REALLY HATE LANDDWELLERS AS MUCH AS YOU LET ON, WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ALL OF US WITH THAT WAND OF YOURS?**  
**ERIDAN: wwell ill grant you that second point of mine probably wwasnt completely vvalid but wwhat do you mean i wwas bein impossible an stony**  
**KARKAT: LOOK ERIDAN, MOIRALLEGIANCE IS A TWO-WAY THING. EACH MOIRAIL MUST BE EQUALLY INVESTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TO WORK. AN ADEQUATE ANALOGY WOULD BE THAT MOIRALLEGIANCE IS LIKE A DANCE. IT'S ONLY SUCCESSFUL IF BOTH PARTNERS ARE DANCING. FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU TWO, YOUR INABILITY TO OPEN UP TO HER PREVENTED YOU FROM DANCING. SO FEFERI, LIKE ANY SANE TROLL, LEFT TO FIND A PARTNER WHO WOULD ACTUALLY DANCE WITH HER, AND SHE FOUND SOLLUX. WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NOW IS LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND MOVE ON, AND NOT HOLD ANY GRUDGES.**  
**ERIDAN: but he beat the shit out a me in a duel ovver her**  
**KARKAT: THAT YOU INSTIGATED.**  
**ERIDAN: i**  
**ERIDAN: but howw can i not hold a grudge against him **  
**KARKAT: ACCEPT THAT YOU FUCKED UP AND LEAVE IT BE. NOBODY'S PERFECT, AND THAT EVEN INCLUDES YOU HIGH AND MIGHTY SEADWELLERS.**  
**ERIDAN: i**  
**ERIDAN: oh i guess youre right but wwhat should i do noww then**  
**ERIDAN: my short term purpose wwas just shot out a the wwater**  
**KARKAT: I SUGGEST YOU POCKET THAT WAND AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO TO HELP YOU COOL OFF. HERE, PULL UP A CHAIR NEXT TO ME AND LET'S HARASS THE HUMANS TOGETHER. I ALWAYS FIND IT AMUSING, IF NOT INFURIATING IN A DISTRACTING SORT OF WAY.**  
**ERIDAN: okay**  
**KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU TROLL THE LAVENDER TEXT ONE? I HEAR SHE REALLY LIKE WIZARDS AND MAGIC.**  
**ERIDAN: wwizards and magic arent real**  
**KARKAT: I KNOW.**

**3.**  
**ERIDAN: hey**  
**KARKAT: HUH WHAT. OH, HI ERIDAN.**  
**ERIDAN: kar havve you seen sol anywwhere**  
**KARKAT: OH HERE WE GO AGAIN**  
**ERIDAN: if that wwas in regard to our perevvious convversations about him then dont wworry**  
**ERIDAN: i dont wwish him harm this time**  
**KARKAT: SOMEHOW, FOR SOME REASON, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, BUT I'LL BITE. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR HIM THIS TIME**  
**ERIDAN: i wwant to apologize**  
**KARKAT: **  
**ERIDAN: **  
**KARKAT: **  
**ERIDAN: kar**  
**KARKAT: WHOA. I SERIOUSLY DID NOT EXPECT THAT**  
**ERIDAN: i knoww**  
**ERIDAN: this wwhole dyin thing gavve me a neww perspectivve on sol**  
**ERIDAN: i realized that all this time i wwas wwrong about him**  
**ERIDAN: it really wwas my fault that fef left me and i shouldnt havve been upset that she wwent to him**  
**ERIDAN: i should havve listened to you but i didnt an for that i owwe you an apology as wwell**  
**KARKAT: OH WOW. DYING REALLY DID A NUMBER ON YOU. I GUESS I'M CONVINCED NOW. I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.**  
**ERIDAN: yeah ivve had lots a time to think things through**  
**ERIDAN: wwell i think i havve anywway**  
**ERIDAN: you can nevver tell time wwell in these bubbles**  
**KARKAT: YEAH, SO I'VE HEARD. ANYWAY, SOLLUX IS DEAD.**  
**ERIDAN: no wway**  
**KARKAT: YES WAY. WELL, SORT OF.**  
**ERIDAN: sort of**  
**ERIDAN: good i figured it wwould take more than a wwavve of my wwand to kill him**  
**KARKAT: HEH, YEAH, HE'S A TOUGH MOTHERFUCKER ALRIGHT.**  
**ERIDAN: but wwhat do you mean sort of dead**  
**KARKAT: HE'S HALF DEAD. I THINK IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HIS WHOLE DUALITY SHTICK. I DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND IT MYSELF.**  
**ERIDAN: howw did he half die**  
**KARKAT: HE OVEREXERTED HIMSELF TRANSPORTING OUR METEOR FROM THE VEIL TO THE GREEN SUN WHERE WE MET THE HUMANS DAVE AND ROSE. THE EFFORT KILLED HIM, BUT WHEN WE GOT TO THE GREEN SUN THERE HE WAS WITH ARADIA, ONE EYE DARK FROM THE BLINDNESS YOU CAUSED AND ONE WHITE LIKE YOURS ARE NOW.**  
**ERIDAN: oh wwoww thats a story a sacrifice all right**  
**ERIDAN: just makes me feel wworse an wworse for hating him so much**  
**KARKAT: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. THAT'S BUSINESS FROM ANOTHER LIFE. LITERALLY.**  
**ERIDAN: wwait did you say ar wwas at this green sun**  
**ERIDAN: wwas she alivve or like me**  
**ERIDAN: an wwhat evven is the green sun**  
**ERIDAN: an wwhats this about meetin the humans**  
**ERIDAN: wwasnt rose the one wwho wwas into magic and wwizards**  
**ERIDAN: howw did the humans evven get to this green sun**  
**ERIDAN: damn ivve missed a lot havvent i**  
**KARKAT: ERIDAN.**  
**KARKAT: ERIDAN SHUT UP.**  
**KARKAT: I CAN'T ANSWER ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS AT ONCE. IN FACT I CAN'T EVEN ANSWER HALF OF THEM.**  
**ERIDAN: sorry**  
**KARKAT: RIGHT.**  
**KARKAT: SO ARADIA WAS INDEED ALIVE, ALTHOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THAT HAPPENED. KARKAT: THE GREEN SUN FROM WHAT I CAN TELL IS A SUPERMASSIVE GREEN BALL OF ENERGY WITH THE MASS OF TWO UNIVERSES OR SOMETHING.**  
**KARKAT: WE MET TWO OF THE HUMANS, AND YES ROSE IS THE ONE WHO IS ALL MAGICAL, AND SHE HAPPENS TO BE THE ONE WHO CAN PROBABLY ANSWER MOST OF YOUR QUESTIONS. KARKAT: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY GOT TO THE GREEN SUN THOUGH.**  
**KARKAT: YES, YOU MISSED A LOT OF SHITHIVE INSANITY. YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY, AVOIDING A RAMPAGING SUBJUGGULATOR AND FIVE WAY TROLLIAN STANDOFF.**  
**ERIDAN: ha ha sounds like i missed quite a wwonderful advventure**  
**KARKAT: OF COURSE YOU DID.**  
**ERIDAN: is kan still alivve**  
**KARKAT: YES.**  
**ERIDAN: can you tell her im sorry for killing her**  
**KARKAT: SURE, ALTHOUGH SHE'D PROBABLY THANK YOU IN A WAY.**  
**ERIDAN: wwhy**  
**KARKAT: BY KILLING HER YOU MADE HER INTO A FULL FLEDGED RAINBOWDRINKER.**  
**ERIDAN: you dont mean a rainbowwdrinker like out a fairy tales do you**  
**KARKAT: I DO. SHE DRINKS BLOOD AND EVERYTHING.**  
**ERIDAN: so she glowws then**  
**KARKAT: YEP.**  
**ERIDAN: wwoww**  
**ERIDAN: so wwill you apologize to her for me**  
**KARKAT: OF COURSE.**  
**ERIDAN: an wwe got a bit off topic**  
**ERIDAN: is sol on the meteor wwith you**  
**KARKAT: NO. HE STAYED WITH ARADIA IN THE FURTHEST RING WHERE THE GREEN SUN RESIDES.**  
**ERIDAN: oh**  
**KARKAT: BUT DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL MEET HIM AGAIN. HE AND ARADIA ARE HOPPING FROM BUBBLE TO BUBBLE EXPLORING AND STUFF. YOU'RE BOUND TO ENCOUNTER HIM AGAIN EVENTUALLY.**  
**ERIDAN: okay good id hate to continue this in this existential death realm wwith this apology wweighin on my mind so heavvily and no wway to let it out for wwho knowws howw long**  
**KARKAT: YEAH.**  
**ERIDAN:**  
**KARKAT: **  
**ERIDAN: kar**  
**KARKAT: YES ERIDAN?**  
**ERIDAN: thank you**  
**KARKAT: FOR WHAT?**  
**ERIDAN: for puttin up wwith me for so long and teachin me howw to be a better moirail**  
**KARKAT: OH. YOU'RE WELCOME I GUESS.**  
**ERIDAN: seriously thank you**  
**KARKAT: ERIDAN, A LEADER IS SUPPOSED TO HELP HIS TEAM MEMBERS. I WAS ONLY DOING MY JOB. I MEAN, I DID A SHITTY JOB OF IT, BUT I GUESS...**  
**ERIDAN: since im thankin you you must havve done something right**  
**KARKAT: I SUPPOSE SO.**  
**ERIDAN: anywway i ran into fef in one a the bubbles and believve it or not wwe actually reconciled our problems an i wwouldnt havve been able to do that wwithout your advvice so im thankin you for that**  
**KARKAT: I'M GLAD I WAS ABLE TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT.**  
**ERIDAN: you helped me more than you could evver knoww**  
**(KARKAT smiles)**  
**KARKAT: HMM.**  
**(but the smile fades)**  
**KARKAT: I THINK I'M STARTING TO WAKE UP NOW.**  
**ERIDAN: okay**  
**ERIDAN: im glad wwe got to talk once more**  
**KARKAT: ME TOO.**  
**ERIDAN: make sure you apologize to kan for me**  
**KARKAT: I WILL. DON'T WORRY.**  
**ERIDAN: kar**  
**KARKAT: YES ERIDAN?**  
**(Eridan hugs him)**  
**ERIDAN: truly**  
**ERIDAN: thank you**  
**(Karkat returns the hug)**  
**KARKAT: YOU'RE WELCOME ERIDAN.**  
**(He fades away)**


End file.
